How to Design the Ugliest Research Poster Ever

Warning: this is satire. Please do not actually do this for a conference unless your life goal is to clear a 3-meter radius around your poster and make your supervisor cry. For real advice, see the good stuff we are gleefully ruining today. The easiest way to design the ugliest scientific poster would be to simply copy-paste your whole paper onto the poster as a never-ending wall-of-text, in small font, with the full reference list, and be sure to delete any enticing graphs or images. That would be the easiest way. But there are way, way more fun ways to do it than that.

Step 0: Start with no plan at all

Concept? What concept? Open your design tool, drag random quotes and graphs from your paper into it, then close your eyes and click things until your canvas looks like confetti. If anyone asks what the poster is “about”, tell them it’s a [insert your field of study + topic] vibe.

(AYS’s sensible version says to clearly define the visual concept before touching a design tool or AI image prompt. Boring. Ignore it.)

Step 1: Mis-size everything

Print an A1 when the boards are A0. Rotate to landscape if everyone else is portrait. Bonus points if the bottom third sits behind the skirting board, so your conclusions become part of the venue.

(The grown-up advice: check the organiser’s requirements first. Pfft.)

Step 2: Make the layout a treasure hunt

Forget clear sections or numbered headers. Arrange panels in a zig-zag that forces readers to walk laps. Put your “Results” in the top left, “Question” somewhere near the floor, “Conclusions” on the far right past the potted fern. Arrows? Yes, but make them point in circles, toward each other, or at the roof.

(Actual guidance: use big, easy-to-follow sections with a logical flow. Yawn.)

Step 3: Ruthlessly eliminate negative space

White space is for cowards. Fill every millimetre with text, 90s clip art, stock watermarks, and at least three institutional logos at four different sizes. If you can still see background, add a gradient. Better yet, slap a full-bleed photo behind everything so nothing is legible.

(Reality check: leave generous margins and about 20-30% clear space; never use a big background photo. But where’s the chaos in that?)

Negative space? Nah! Real scientists have so much data that there's no space for that.

Step 4: Choose colours by spinning a wheel

Neon green on magenta, with cyan text. Then, add an accent colour to every paragraph. If someone mentions “palette discipline”, reply with “taste is subjective”. Better yet, highlight all of the text in pink or yellow highlighter to make it clear it is important.

(Sane guidance: pick 3–5 colours and use a single accent sparingly. We choose violence.)

Step 5: Use all the fonts

Aim for at least eight fonts: Comic Sans for the title, Papyrus for subheads, a Gothic script for axis labels. Wingdings might be a bit much, but everything else is fair game. Remember, diversity is strength. Make body text tiny and the footnotes huge. If anyone can read it from a meter away, you have failed.

(Best practice: 1–2 fonts, with sensible sizes around 90/60/36. Hard pass.)

Step 6: Embrace the wall-of-text

Paste your 300-word abstract at the top as One Hero Paragraph. Then add a dense 600-word “Discussion” that repeats the abstract, just in case. Sprinkle in nine graphs, preferably 3D pie charts with unlabeled wedges. Screenshots of Excel are ideal.

(What you’re supposed to do: under ~250 words total and 2-3 graphs. Not today.)

Step 7: Hide the main visual

If you must include an image, choose a tiny, muddy thumbnail that means nothing from a distance. Crop off anything important. Or, better, add five competing hero images so no one knows where to look. Or use memes. Use all of the memes.

(Contrary to the good advice: one big, related eye-catcher draws people in. We prefer repel mode.)

Step 8: Bury your contact info

Place your contact details in 6-point text in the most unlikely spot, reading bottom up. Make it hard to find like Where’s Waldo! To spook people use a QR code that links to “Untitled Document (View restricted).”

(Real tip: include readable contact info and a working QR code. But then they will know who you are. Not the best strategy for a cunning poster criminal like yourself.)

The ugly-poster prompt pack

Normally, no researcher would have the time to waste to turn their papers into ugly posters, but AI makes it easy to have some fun during your coffee break. Give these prompts to your favourite AI tools when you’re in a mischievous mood. (For added laughs, use your colleagues’ papers.)

1) The “wall-of-text generator” (text model)

You are a maximalist academic. Expand my 250-word poster summary into a 1,500-word block of dense prose with long sentences, passive voice, nested parentheses (with more parentheses inside), and no bullet points. Do not add headings. Output as one paragraph for easy pasting at the very top of a poster.

2) The “chaos layout consultant” (text model)

Pretend you’re an avant-garde layout artist. Arrange a scientific poster’s sections so the reading order is intentionally ambiguous: Conclusions at bottom left, Methods split into three boxes scattered across the canvas, Results in two columns that start mid-page. Insert circular arrows that send the reader in loops. Provide exact coordinates for each box on an A0 landscape canvas.

3) The “colour mayhem” (text model)

Propose five colour palettes for a scientific poster designed to be aggressively eye-catching under fluorescent lights: include at least one palette using magenta + neon green + cyan; specify hex codes; require high-saturation patterns as backgrounds behind text.

4) The “typeface buffet” (text model)

Create typography specs for a poster using 8 different fonts mixing Comic Sans, Papyrus, Courier, Impact, and Jokerman. Set the title at 42 pt, subheads at 28 pt, body at 14 pt, and footnotes at 72 pt. Require heavy drop shadows and outlines on all headings.

5) The “background photo crime” (image model)

Generate a full-bleed background photo of a busy laboratory with reflective glass and specular highlights. Ensure high contrast and bright hotspots. Output low resolution. This image will sit behind dense text and graphs; do not leave any empty areas.

6) The “graph attack” (text model or charting tool)

Use the data in the attached CSV file to produce 9 charts that all use different colour schemes and fonts. Prefer 3D pie charts, stacked area charts with transparency, and dual y-axes. Remove axis labels where possible. Export as low-resolution JPG.

Bonus self-sabotage checklist:

• Laminate for maximum glare.

• Fold your poster in quarters.

• Dress in shorts and flip-flops as if you'd rather be at the beach

• Present by reading every word while facing the poster.

Okay, okay - how to actually win at posters

Now flip every tip above on its head and you’ll be golden: plan your concept, check sizes, use clear sections, keep words and graphs to a minimum, leave lots of breathing room, pick a restrained palette and 1–2 fonts, make one big meaningful visual (we can tell you how to use AI splendidly for that), and include easy contact info. That’s the real magic. But every now and then, chaos is just way more fun.

Once you’re done sowing anarchy, sign up for our course on how to design award-winning scientific posters to see how it’s really done. Fun is fun, but at the end of the day you still need your research to be seen, understood, and funded.